June 05, 2004
Those are People Who Died
Posted by nerdling | June 5, 2004 01:41 PM
In a new and utterly disgusting display of greed and an absolute void of compassion, there are rumors floating in Washington DC that the IRS is trying to shut down the reality show "Extreme Makeover Home Edition" which, among its apparent faults, improves the quality of life for orphans, widows, firefighters, little old ladies and entire neighborhoods of the poor and downtrodden. Their crime? Well, according to the wife of IRS Commissioner Mark Everson, they give away too much stuff for free to people who don't know what to do with it. This charming creature has been overheard making derogatory comments to her friends, such as:
"What’s a poor mother with too many kids and one bathroom going to do with a stainless steel kitchen?”
“Why don’t they makeover houses in good neighborhoods for people who know how to treat nice things?
Nanette, the aforementioned exceptional being, has been observed making many such remarks about the undeserving people who have their homes renovated on the show. When she heard that the production team was using a tax loophole to prevent the families from having to pay taxes on their renovations, she reported it to her hubby at the IRS. As a result, the familes featured on the show have been served with letters detailing the $120,000-$175,000 they own the government for their home repairs.
Congratulations, you fucking bitch. You've just ruined the lives of people who were able to enjoy a little bit of happiness that they could never have otherwise afforded and saddled their great-great-grandchildren with debt.
May all that spite and bile you're hoarding develop into a malignant cancer that slowly eats away whatever is left of your heart. I'll come to your funeral to pass out party favors and dance on your grave.
Post script: When digging for more dirt to corroborate this hearsay, I've stumbled upon some interesting information:
• As Associate Council to the President, Mrs Everson—a lawyer—"oversees ethics in the White House counsel's office." Oh, irony, you are so bold.
• Among his other qualifications, IRS Commissioner Everson did a stint as a CPA at Arthur Anderson & Company. Sound familiar to anyone?
• Everson also served as Special Assistant to Attorney General Edwin Meese III during the Reagan administration.
