November 04, 2004
Boys Better
Posted by nerdling | November 4, 2004 12:39 PM
In a mere eighteen hours, I will once again be in the fortunate position of witnessing the rock spectacle known as Ted Leo. Rule!
Further, in an effort to distract myself from the quagmire that is the recent election, I decided to post something completely frivolous that will (hopefully) amuse everyone a bit. With that, here's my list of the five musicians I would jump in a heartbeat—significant others, geographic locations and the age difference not withstanding.
01. Ted Leo – Needs no explanation. Rowr!
02. John Doe – Also needs no explanation.
03. David Bowie – Please. Who wouldn't?
04. Josh Homme – Yes, he is an asshole, but that's part of the charm.
05. Courtney Taylor – Sure, he has expensive hair. And scarves. But it works.
Addendum:
06. Rhett Miller – I don't know how I forgot him, but I think it has something to do with the fact that he needs a haircut. Badly.
07. Kevin Griffin – I have a suspicion it's the cowboy shirts.
08. Prince – One of the two men (David Bowie being the other) on this Earth who can wear leather pants and look hot.
09. Andre 3000 – Dear Lord, just look at him.
10. Chris Isaak – I don't think there are any questions about this one.
11. Rory Henderson – He probably spends as much time on his hair as I do, but I just can't find the energy to mind.
Please feel free to post your own lists as you see fit.
here are my shag worthy rockers
-kevin griffin
-david bowie
-ian curtis
-kelly jones (pre fey personae)
-robert smith (pre man boobies)
-damon alburn
-joe strummer
-justin hawkins
-idelwild (the entire band)
-ric ocasic
-jakob dylan
-danny elfman
-chris cornel
-morrissey (the smiths years)
i can go on, but then i'd be a trollope.
Posted by: nikilicious at November 4, 2004 05:12 PM
Disclaimer: the following list is in no way an admission of an alternative sexual preference, but rather a hypothetical exercise based upon an appreciation of obviously attractive human beings and the lack of a suitable number of female candidates.
1) Shonna Tucker (Drive by Truckers)--The jeans were painted on as thick as her eyeliner, her hair was unwound, and she drank Jack Daniels straight from the bottle. Yes, please.
2) Zia McCabe (Dandy Warhols)--She hates bras, and sometimes shirts. She plays bass w/ one hand and bangs a tambourine on her hip w/ the other hand while she stares at the ceiling. And she's the plain one.
3) Joan Jett--She wouldn't fuck me w/ Hitler's dick...she's got her own, thankyouverymuch.
4) Leslie Hardy (Murder City Devils)--I mean, look at her.
5) Ruyter Suys (Nashville Pussy)--She can play the guitar solo to "Catscratch Fever" note-for-note...while hanging upside down wearing snakeskin pants and fellating a beer bottle. Yes, she has nice tits, but any woman who can do that could be shaped like a wet paper sack full of dog shit for all I care.
Fried Chicken and Coffee Keep Me Mean,
Dan
Posted by: dan at November 4, 2004 05:50 PM
Disclaimer to the disclaimer: i forgot my male candidates on the first list. Briefly:
1) Courtney Taylor
2) Prince
3) David Bowie
4) Andre 3000
5) Joan Jett
Make mine Marvel,
Dan
Posted by: dan at November 4, 2004 05:56 PM
I can totally back Chris Cornell, though I'd say his peak was '93-'98. Joe Strummer was a fox, as was Moz—though he's still pretty sexy with the gray hairs. I can also back Ian Curtis, though that's probably just because he was so dark and brooding.
My lone girl entry would be Tina Weymouth, who was so damn cute—and the playing 'til her fingers bled thing is pretty sweet.
Damon Albarn is disqualified due to unibrow, and Robert Smith reminds me too much of Elizabeth Taylor. What happened to Bono and Larry Mullen Jr? (My U2 pick would be Adam.) You also left off Scott Weiland during the "Interstate Love Song" period. Pink boas rule.
But Ric Ocasek? Danny Elfman? You're smoking crack again, aren't you?
Posted by: Marleigh at November 5, 2004 09:47 AM
Men:
- Spencer Moody.
- Spencer Moody.
- Spencer Moody.
- Spencer Moody.
- Dann Gallucci.
Women:
- Leslie Hardy.
- Corin Tucker.
- Kathleen Hanna.
- Tobi Vail.
- Neko Case.
Predictable and pathetic,
-Kierin.
Posted by: Kierin at November 6, 2004 02:15 PM
