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March 31, 2004
"Meow" Is Not the Message
Q: Why is American beer like having sex in a canoe?
A: It's fucking close to water.
While looking for the wording of this old (and very worn) joke, I found two interesting things:
01. Hipster Bingo: Mocking the scene, one trucker hat at a time.
02. Pabst Blue Ribbon: Another Winner
Retro Chic Suds Hit With Hip Young Adults
["retro chic," a phrase hung on a host of young adults who affect the style and attitude of the mythical good ol' days: real or imagined working-class values clothed in polyester button-downs, Chuck Taylor shoes, Levis and old T-shirts]
The popularity of PBR is a lesson in reverse psychology. Young adults have taken to the beer because it wasn't forced down their throats. Like ugly clothes and extreme sports, Pabst's value lies in its expression of individuality and choice, a rejection of consumer society by those who feel manipulated by it. Pabst's selling point is its distinct unpopularity, its unself-conscious existence among beers that reinvent themselves as regularly as political candidates.
We've come so far that the kids are now out drinking PBR because it is the alternative to having your social status tainted by drinking a more fashionable beer. It's the liquid equivalent of the trucker-cap-and-vintage-T-shirt-look!
This is just more evidence for the theory that hipsters are emotionally stunted, permanently trapped in their teens and desperate to have anyone notice their behavior. "Hey, look at me! I'm drinking a beer that only costs $6 a case! I'm so much more down-to-earth than you, despite the fact that I spent 45 minutes to get my hair this messy, and I bought my vintage jeans at Diesel! Don't I just scream 'hip' and 'retro'?"
Last I checked, drinking beer stopped being rebellious when I turned 18.
Posted in Damn Nation! | 31 March 2004 at 07:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (84) | Link
Word Baby!
resistentialism (ri-zis-TEN-shul-iz-um) n.
The theory that inanimate objects demonstrate hostile behavior toward us.
Coined by humorist Paul Jennings as a blend of the Latin res (thing) + French resister (to resist) + existentialism (a branch of philosophy).
Ummmm, yeah. About those TPS reports...
(Definition courtesy of George.)
Posted in Quoi? | 31 March 2004 at 05:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (1) | Link
March 30, 2004
Minions of Satan, Band Together!
So much for sugar and spice. *muahahahaha*
Posted in Quoi? | 30 March 2004 at 06:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (3) | Link
No More Dick for That Guy
Establishing a substantial burden of proof that Texas really is the greatest state in the Union: Har Mar gets his teeth knocked in by a penis-shaped pinata.
I knew the day that I left for the East Coast that I should have spent the money on SXSW instead. I won't go into all the reasons (who really needs them?) but it was a bad call on my part. I missed a hell of a lot of awesome performances and Sean Tillman being bloodied by an enormous pecker. Sometimes life can be too cruel.
In other news, The Darkness' Justin Hawkins will be performing with Queen at an upcoming benefit concert. Ooooooh do I wish I could see that!
Posted in Another Bloody Fucking Wanker | 30 March 2004 at 02:28 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (1) | Link
March 24, 2004
The Eternal Question
Q: How do you get a philosopher off of your porch?
A: Pay for the pizza.
Posted in Quoi? | 24 March 2004 at 05:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (79) | Link
Things Keep Happening
Some days I feel bad for Ryan Adams. I have a deep and abiding love for Whiskeytown and because of it I can be alternately enraged and saddened by the sideshow that Ryan has become. He used to write wonderful, touching songs and now he plays parodies and has to go through physical therapy to learn to play his guitar again. It's kind of like watching the decline of Brian Wilson compressed into five years.
On that note, here's an interview he initiated with Pitchfork in an effort to straighten out some of their mockery. I don't know if it will work (unless he starts writing good songs again) but I can say for sure that he talks a lot.
Posted in Another Bloody Fucking Wanker | 24 March 2004 at 02:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (15) | Link
March 23, 2004
I Shall Make Bloody Music With Your Nation's Populace!
Posted in Quoi? | 23 March 2004 at 04:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (32) | Link
You Live in a Snit and You'll Die in a Huff
So this is the entry you've all been waiting for: the synopsis of my trip to the East Coast.
I set off two Sundays ago with my roommate, bound from Burbank to JFK via Phoenix. Our flight leaving Burbank was an hour-and-a-half late, so we barely made our connection in Phoenix. Nevertheless, we did make it, and arrived at JFK around 5:45AM. From there we took a taxi (which was a harrowing new experience) to Penn Station and boarded a train bound for Philadelphia. The day was beautiful but even the sunshine couldn't do much to make the depressing vista that is New Jersey any better.
Philadelphia was much more attractive and interesting than I was expecting, particularly when we arrived at 30th Street Station—probably the most beautiful train station I've seen. Another taxi to the hotel followed—slightly less harrowing but still enough to make me slightly nauseous—where we were situated on the thirteenth floor. We had an amazing view of the city, the Delaware River and the Ben Franklin Bridge, which we enjoyed immensely during our stay.
Once we had rested we set out on foot to explore the city, wandering down South Street and up Broad, getting a close-up view of the arts district and the Italian market along the way. There were a number of interesting occult shops along South Street, which peaked my interest, though finding a liquor store in Philadelphia turned out to be one of Hercules' great labors. The next day we woke to snow outside our window (a phenomenon which would dog us the whole trip), but we set out anyway to see Independence Park. On the way we stopped, drenched, at a coffee shop to warm up; there we met Rita, our most interesting new friend from the trip. If you're ever in Philadelphia, you should visit Mrs. K's Coffee Shop at 4th and Chestnut. The people there are awesome and helped us out, giving us advice and directions to places all over Philly. After visiting the various landmarks of American history, we concluded the day by visiting a pub—which we discovered had an outstanding jukebox, the most excellent honey mustard dressing on Earth and 100 different types of scotch. Needless to say we were not even close to sober when we left the pub.
Philadelphia turned out to be a great town, and not at all what I was expecting. Unfortunately I didn't have enough time to see and do all the things I wanted to, so a return trip is already in the works.
The next day we hopped a train back to New York, where we were met at the station by Jason, our host and tour guide. Our first experience with the subway occured shortly after, during our trip from Penn Station to Bay Ridge, Brooklyn. I don't recommend riding the subway while carting your luggage, but some things cannot be avoided. After we dropped off our things and settled in at Jason's apartment we headed to BAM (the Brooklyn Academy of Music) for A Midsummer Night's Dream performed by the all-male Propeller Company from England. The play was incredible—one of the highlights of the trip—and we were even treated to a musical performance by the cast during intermission. After the play we headed to Park Slope with Jason and his friends for a late bite, then home to rest up.
The next day we wandered around Bay Ridge to get our bearings and discovered a great little bagel shop and deli at 86th and 3rd. After filling up on some excellent bagels and coffee, we headed for Union Square for a quick peek around. From there it was off to Times Square to meet Jason for drinks and a bite before the night's entertainment, Wintertime, at the Second Stage Theater. The play was mediocre but enjoyable, notable primarily for its set design. The next day we headed way uptown to the Met to browse the exhibit of Italian mythological prints, as well as the Egyptian, Byzantine and Medieval exhibits and the modern art and objects collections. I was terribly impressed with the size and scope of the museum, as well as the current holdings. Some of my favorite pieces are housed there, so it was a treat to be able to see it all up close and personal. Oh, and we took a picture with a mummy! (I'll try to post some photos when we get them developed.)
After the Met we caught up with Jason and headed to a bar so we would be properly sauced for the show that night, Justin Bond: Uncorked! at the Ars Nova. I can best describe the show as a slightly drunken transvestite cabaret act about junkies, hookers and hustlers; I enjoyed it more than I thought I would, and his backing band is very talented. After the show we hurried to the movie theater to catch a midnight showing of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It seems Friday was a night of surprises, as I am not much of a Charlie Kaufman or Jim Carrey fan, and I wound up enjoying the film very much. I was pleasantly surprised and not at all sorry that we didn't see Dawn of the Dead instead.
Saturday passed in a blur of activity. We woke up late (the curse of going to bed at 4AM) and hurried to get ready to make our 2PM matinee of Avenue Q, the X-rated puppet show musical. I can't remember ever laughing so hard at the theater; I was helpless in the face such truthful songs as "What Do You Do With a BA in English?," a question I have asked myself many times since graduating with one. After the show we headed back to Union Square to catch our last play of the trip, Beautiful Child (playing at the Vineyard Theatre, where Avenue Q premiered off-Broadway). Along the way we accidentally met up with James and his girlfriend, Beth; James had gone to college with Nik, Jason and I, though we didn't know him at the time. They came to see the play with us, then accompanied us to the bar(s) afterward. It was a lovely night out—we saw some enormous urinals and the oldest working dumbwaiter in the city of New York, and were introduced the magic that is Yuengling Lager.
After leaving the bars and heading back to Brooklyn, we stopped for an early breakfast around 3:30AM and took control of another jukebox while enjoying eggs benedict. After what seemed like an incredibly long ride to JFK we made our flight at 7AM, hungover and exhausted, and more than ready to be back in sunny Los Angeles.
Though NYC has a lot to offer, I could never imagine living there. The crowds nearly did me in, and I was close to the point where I was going to start hitting strangers who touched me, even accidentally. Despite the smog and current gloom, I don't think I've ever been quite so glad to be back home, inhabiting my own happy little dominion of personal space.
Posted in General Nonsense | 23 March 2004 at 03:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (3) | Link
March 22, 2004
Yowza!
For anyone out there who thought that the scene in Return of the King where all the Hobbits were reunited (as Gandalf looked on and smiled knowingly) was just a wee bit homoerotic, you can indulge all your suspicions here.
And if that still isn't enough, you could always look for proof that Elijah Wood is Very, Very Gay. (Link courtesy of Scott.)
Posted in Quoi? | 22 March 2004 at 04:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (4) | Link
March 10, 2004
Easy on the Eyes, Hard on the Head
Though there is always plenty to rant about in the world at large, today's post is dedicated to the abnormally large number of really great posters at gigposters.com. I usually find some amazing grain mixed in with the chaff but today had a whole load of awesome work. Observe:
Mindreaders
Ryan Jacob Smith
n8w
Eye Noise
Budai
Ezra Pound
Squad19
Tim Gough: 1, 2
Shad Petosky: 1, 2
Denny Schmickle
Malleus
Attaboy
Go ahead, see what I mean. You won't be sorry.
Posted in General Nonsense | 10 March 2004 at 07:56 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Link
March 09, 2004
Mining Without Mesothelioma
Though Google is by far the best search engine I've encountered, there are always limitations. The structure of HTML and other web coding languages makes it impossible to access every piece of information on the web through a search engine, which means that even Google, in all its power and majesty, can only crawl 1% of the web. Most of the remaining information is called the deep Web—a complex maze of databases and other structured information that cannot be searched because it exists outside of standard HTML architecture, which is the protocol used by all standard search engines.
That, however, is starting to change, resulting in what could be a major revolution in the way we view information on the internet, as well as how much and what kind of information the average person is able to view: government documents, databases of customer information and scientific research are just the beginning. Yahoo! recently announced the new direction they are pursuing with their search engine (now that they have split with Google), the Content Acquisition Program (CAP), also revealing what promises to be the future of web searching technology—mining the deep Web.
Posted in Corporations and Creativity | 9 March 2004 at 10:32 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (25) | Link
March 05, 2004
Keen to Be Near You
After a long (for this place) round of rainstorms, the weather has turned sunny and warm with impending spring. I use the term "spring" loosely, as the weather in LA generally goes from winter, through a brief turnover period, directly into summer. I only caught the tail end of high summer in the foothills last year, so I'm curious what summer in Pasadena has in store. We'll have to install a screen door on the apartment since our front stoop will be the place to be, beer in hand, in the evenings.
The change in weather seems to be taking place all over—that's great news, since Nik and I will be heading to Philly and NYC next week. It promises to be a fun trip, so please submit your requests for souvenirs or give us your recommendations for things to do while there. You have until next Sunday to get them in!
Posted in General Nonsense | 5 March 2004 at 02:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (16) | Link
March 04, 2004
An Agoraphobic Fit
Two really good things happened yesterday:
01. My computer, which has been in the shop for a week being repaired, has been fixed and returned home. She is working fine now; actually, she is working better now than she has in years. Then again she should be, since they wiped the drive and reinstalled OS 9 and 10.
02. I went to a showing of the original Dawn of the Dead, which, if you haven't seen it, you should. I had never seen it projected on a big screen and seeing the movie again reminded me why it is the definitive zombie film.
In more important news, this is why they call it the practice of medicine. No one knows why it works...but it does!
Posted in General Nonsense | 4 March 2004 at 05:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Link
March 03, 2004
It's the End of Your Life
Some of your friends could already be this twisted: How Blogs Are Ruining My Life.
Posted in Quoi? | 3 March 2004 at 03:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Link
March 02, 2004
Liberal Schmiberal
It's probably just my abnormal level of emotional sensitivity speaking, but I think it's patently ridiculous that there is even a debate over gay marriage. The issue of interference aside, any sort of a ban is inherently discriminatory; whether or not the discrimination violates anyone's civil rights is a matter for the courts to decide but I think it's fairly clear that banning marriage on the basis of sexuality would be such a violation. At the moment, however, such unions are still illegal and Jason West, the mayor of New Paltz, NY, is currently facing charges for marrying same-sex couples. If convicted, he could receive fines and a year in jail.
West said the prospect of further punishment does not deter him, adding that the newlywed couples inspire him.
"Just the looks on their faces, just the absolute joy of finally being able to be equal," he said. "That is the highest moral calling I could possibly imagine."
In another note, Democratic front runner Kerry countered Bush's call for a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage and is pro-civil unions, though he is part of a movement attempting to rewrite the Massachusetts state constitution to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman. With a record like that, Bush will never get that liberal label to stick!
Posted in Damn Nation! | 2 March 2004 at 04:48 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Link
Someone Has to Die
Oooooh! Oooooh! The Davey I know and love from the glory days of The Promise Ring is back! He came back to us!
I loved TPR and The Dismemberment Plan, and here they are living in harmony in Maritime—who may very well be my new favorite band. Some of the eccentric, atonal quirkiness of The D Plan with the poetic sweetness of Davey's lyrics, melded together in some very catchy pop songs recorded by everyone's favorite, J. Robbins. Could this get better?
Well yeah, it probably could, but I think I've had enough excitement for one day.
Posted in A/V Dorkout | 2 March 2004 at 03:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (316) | Link
