April 12, 2005

Happy Spring

Here's a redesign.

Posted in Quoi? | 12 April 2005 at 10:58 PM | Comments (1) | | Link

February 01, 2005

Will My Warm Heart Ever Fail?

Dude! Now the iPod is becoming truly useful: check out the Podtender.

As a long-time Jay Ryan/Bird Machine fan, I have to say I'm glad he's garnering some notice. {Via largehearted boy}

opening for Interpol on their upcoming tour.

The ever-prolific Jason Molina will be taking Magnolia Electric Co. on tour, as well as releasing a new EP.

Point your browser to the Secretly Canadian site to download an entire EP from The Impossible Shapes, only available while they are on tour.

Posted in Quoi? | 1 February 2005 at 12:42 PM | Comments (0) | | Link

November 28, 2004

Why Settle for a Lesser Evil?

IA! Ia! Plush Cthulhu Fhtagn!

Posted in Quoi? | 28 November 2004 at 01:24 PM | Comments (0) | | Link

October 19, 2004

Doomsday, Anyone?

As an early concession to both the upcoming holiday and the upcoming election, I thought I'd post about something that tends to get people worked up, with the bonus that it is more than a little bit spooky.

Beginning on or around November 2, 2000, someone with the screenname Timetravel_0 began posting on a public forum that he was a time traveler from the year 2036. Later identifying himself as John Titor, this mysterious figure has prophesized the end of the world as we know it, beginning with a civil war that starts in the year 2005. Civil insurrection begins after the presidential election of 2004 and according to Titor, the year 2015 brings a brief—but important—WWIII, wiping out most major cities in the United States and resulting in a world that looks something like a set from The Postman.

That's the brief recap, but I'll just say that the vote is pretty split. There are those who absolutely believe in John Titor and those who think he is the cheapest form of charlatan. All I know is that he disappeared on March 24, 2001 after informing his readers that he would be returning to his own time, and he has not been heard from again.

Those who believe him have found proof in some veiled hints made in his posts, while his detractors believe he was purposefully vague to avoid discrediting himself. For his part, Titor claimed that he was vague because he could not disrupt the course of world events with his predictions. I'm not much on science, but a great deal of his posts (including pictures) deal with the mechanics of time travel, and he apparently made many predictions about discoveries in physics that have since come to pass.

Either way, I've included below a selection of his responses, starting with his list of things to know and do should a civil war break out. Those interested can find more information at johntitor.com.

1. Do not eat or use products from any animal that is fed and eats parts of its own dead.

2. Do not kiss or have intimate relations with anyone you do not know.

3. Learn basic sanitation and water purification.

4. Be comfortable around firearms. Learn to shoot and clean a gun.

5. Get a good first aid kit and learn to use it.

6. Find 5 people within 100 miles that you trust with your life and stay in contact with them.

7. Get a copy of the US Constitution and read it.

8. Eat less.

9. Get a bicycle and two sets of spare tires. Ride it 10 miles a week.

10. Consider what you would bring with you if you had to leave your home in 10 minutes and never return.

Does anything happen in the year 2012? I've heard stories about the world ending.

In my 2012, I was 14 years old spending most of my time living, running and hiding in the woods and rivers of central Florida. The civil war was in its 7th year and the world war was three years away. Yes, there are unusual events in 2012 but they do not cause the world to end. Unfortunately, I have decided not to discuss events that you or I can do anything about. It is important that they be a surprise. Perhaps you are familiar with the story of the Red Sea and the Egyptians?

Why can't you name the five presidents you have in your time?

Over the past few postings, I have tried to describe the limits of what I will talk about and why. Here is a short recap list. In future postings, I will place the following number next to each question as to why I will not discuss it.

1. I will not disclose any information that will cause someone to personally gain by its knowledge. This means no stock or sports tips.2. I will not disclose any detailed information that would allow someone to avoid death by probability. This means no earthquake or bombing information.

3. I will not disclose any information that may compromise any future actions by individual people or threaten their family and well-being.

The reason the job of President was split into an office of 5 has 4 main reasons. With 5 [presidents], foreign policy is more consistent, power shifting between parties has less of an impact on the overall government, individual strengths between presidents add to the strength of the overall office, and one president is elected for each major area in the United States.

Where is the new US capitol?

The new US capitol is in Omaha Nebraska.

The United States is still a representative republic in 2036 but it was touch and go for a while. After the war, the U.S. had divided into 5 general areas based on their economic and defensive strengths. Many people blamed the government organization for the war and the last Constitutional Congress was held in 2020 to officially scrap the Constitution and start over. Fortunately, this exercise in anger pointed out how hard it was to come up with anything better. It was decided the document wasn't at fault. As a result, there have been a few small changes to the Constitution and the executive branch but you would easily recognize it. The average citizen is more educated about the Constitution and aware of the rights and responsibilities it gives them. Federal power has been decentralized and the focus of daily politics is in the state senates. Federal law has also been streamlined but much harder to change or make additions to.

What event started the war? Can it be stopped?

The war is a result of faulty politics and desperation from Western leadership during the US civil war. Yes, I suppose you could stop it.

Does the current relationship between Arabs and Jews have anything to do with the coming war?

Real disruptions in world events begin with the destabilization of the West as a result of degrading US foreign policy and consistency.

This becomes apparent around 2004 as civil unrest develops near the next presidential election.

The Jewish population in Israel is not prepared for a true offensive war. They are prepared for the ultimate defense.

Wavering western support for Israel is what gives Israel's neighbors the confidence to attack.

The last resort for a defensive Israel and its offensive Arab neighbors is to use weapons of mass destruction.

How and why do the Arabs [and] Jews become entangled in the civil war of the U.S.A?

They are not directly involved but political situations are dependant on Western stability, which collapses in 2005.

The Arab countries appear to have weapons of mass destruction. Do they use them against America?

Not against America but they are used against each other.

Posted in Quoi? | 19 October 2004 at 02:00 PM | Comments (0) | | Link

July 08, 2004

The King in Yellow

As a public service to my readers—all four of you—I thought I would share some links that have been holding my interest of late. I'm not really sure how many people are interested in classic weird fiction and gothic tales, but you're getting some anyway. ('F' stands for 'fiction' and 'N' for 'nonfiction.')

AMBROSE BIERCE
Can Such Things Be?, also at Project Gutenberg (F)
The Devil's Dictionary, also at Project Gutenberg (F)
Fantastic Fables (F)
"The Damned Thing" (F)
"An Inhabitant of Carcosa" (F)
"Moxon's Master" (F)
"My Favorite Murder" (F)
"An Occurence at Owl Creek Bridge" (F)

ALGERNON BLACKWOOD
"An Egyptian Hornet" (F)
"A Victim of Higher Space" (F)
"The House of the Past" (F)
"The Willows" (F) HP Lovecraft considered this story to be the pinnacle of weird fiction; I don't happen to agree, but who am I to argue with Howard Phillips?

ROBERT W CHAMBERS
The King in Yellow (F)
"The Purple Emperor" (F; 1897)
"In the Court of the Dragon" (F)
"The Messenger" (F; 1897)
"The Repairer of Reputations" (F; 1895)
"The Yellow Sign" (F)

LORD DUNSANY
The Book of Wonder (F; 1912)
Chess problems by Lord Dunsany (N)

WILLIAM HOPE HODGSON
Carnacki the Ghostfinder (F; 1910)
Captain Gault (F; 1917)
"The Derelict" (F; 1912)

E T A HOFFMAN
"The History of Krakatuk" (F)
"The Sand-man" (F; 1817)
"The Cremona Violin" (F; c. 1817)
"The Deserted House" (F; 1909)
Excerpt from "Nutcracker and the King of Mice" (F)

H P LOVECRAFT
"Supernatural Horror in Literature" (N; 1927)
Collected writings (F)

MARIE BELLOC LOWNDES
"The Lodger" (F; 1912)

ARTHUR MACHEN
The Great God Pan (F; 1914)
"The White People" (F; 1899)
Introduction to "The Bowmen" (N; 1915)
"The Bowmen" (F; 1914)

I highly recommend the Gaslight Archives, Literature of the Fantastic and Project Gutenberg if you're interested in perusing old manuscripts.

Posted in Quoi? | 8 July 2004 at 05:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (22) | Link

June 14, 2004

Maybe Nuclear War Isn't So Bad

It's a slow news day, so I thought I would post a topic that encourages comments. Hopefully this will incite response. If not, I'm doing a piss-poor job with this blogging thing.

Bands that should be disbanded, by force if necessary, though I wouldn't be opposed to death by firing squad:

01. Palace / Bonnie "Prince" Billy / Will Oldham
The king of all jackassery, Will Oldham is perhaps best known for his role as Baby Jessica's father in the made-for-TV masterpiece Everybody's Baby: The Rescue of Jessica McClure, though he has produced sounds that some say pass for music under the monikers Palace, Palace Music, Palace Brothers and, most recently, Bonnie "Prince" Billy.

Willie is particularly worthy of painful death and/or dismemberment for his charming patronization of American music, writing in old-timey speak and appearing on stage in overalls, performing songs like "There Is No One What Will Take Care Of You" from a rocker while chewing a stalk of wheat. You live in the twenty-first century, Willie ol' boy, and we have the chemical weapons to prove it.

02. Atom and His Package / Adam Goren
03. Har Mar Superstar / Sean Tillmann
These two are lumped together primarily because they are guilty of the same crimes against music, but it doesn't hurt that they are friends and partners in crime. They are both annoying, overeducated elitists who weren't talented enough to make it as real musicians; as such, they now spend their time writing songs only Weird Al could truly appreciate. I could come up with a lengthy tirade against them both, but I think the opening paragraph of an Atom review from the Village Voice does it nicely:

It's hard to say who will squash this obnoxious fuck first. Atom Goren, lead singer, programmer, founder, sometime guitarist, and one-half of Atom and His Package (the other half, his package, is a synthesizer), offends everyone (his friends included). On the third track ("Hats Off to Halford") off his third long-player (Making Love) he gives former Judas Priest frontman Rob Halford the thumbs-up for coming out of the closet, and hopes that Halford will set a precedent. "I'd love for everyone in heavy metal to be homosexual," he whines, "if not just to make the Nazi fucking pricks in Slayer a little uncomfortable." So will it be the entire metal community, not known to be the most tolerant on subjects of sexuality, or just Slayer who hunts Atom down? Or maybe Pantera: "Statistics say, chances of being gay are one in 10. So that means there's a 40 percent chance that one of the guys in Pantera likes men." Personally, I'm rooting for Phil Anselmo and the Cowboys from Hell in this battle.

Smug, self-righteous and vengefully dorky, these morons deserve whatever beatings they are going to incur with their antics. Here's hoping one of the guys in Pantera is gay, and Adam and/or Sean drop the soap.

04. Eighteen Visions
05. AFI
06. Dashboard Confessional
These three are being lumped together because they are all sides of the same terrible coin. There is a reason Eighteen Visions released an album called Vanity; though not solely responsible for the change, EV is working hard to take the "hard" out of "hardcore," while AFI is trying their best to do as much for eyeliner as Robert Smith did. As for Dashboard—well they just suck unabashedly at everything but mugging for the camera.

These bands represent everything that is wrong with music today, from their ridiculously contrived images and weepy, condescending songs to their absolutely soulless music. Everything about them screams insincerity, while the essence of their facade is one of total honesty. Case in point: AFI stands for A Fire Inside. If the world was fair, those assholes would spontaneously combust.

I hate nothing so much as a hypocrite, though hypocrisy is the only defining talent of the entire bunch.

Posted in Quoi? | 14 June 2004 at 02:58 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (87) | Link

June 10, 2004

V-D Day

I consider myself to be a bright, well-educated, independent woman. I wouldn't call myself a feminist, nor do I hate men; I'm more often guilty of misanthropy than sexism, but every now and again there are occasions when I feel it necessary to point out the absolutely ridiculous inherent in us all. In this post, "us" refers to womankind.

That said, why must reasonable, assumably well-intentioned women parade around making a mockery of themselves (and the rest of us) by championing empty gestures, simply because those gestures happen to have something vaguely female about them? Case in point: the self-appointed playwright for the double X-chromosome set, Eve Ensler. Ms Ensler is once again on the vagina warpath, urging those of us who possess them to vote, using—you guessed it—our vaginas. I'm pretty sure she means that metaphorically.

Ms Ensler's vagina rally in New York featured Kathy Najimy and musical stylings with relevant, pointed lyrics, such as "V is for vote because my womb is aching for peace." Thank you, Rha Goddess. That is just barely poetic enough to earn you another turn through a community college poetry workshop. See you in the trenches.

Aside from being a silly and condescending campaign, she is also promoting generalizations against the Bush administration which muddy up the waters currently clouded with real issues, rather than nebulous rantings about the analagous raping of a country and a woman. Perhaps both have the same root motivation, but foreign policy has little to do with domestic rape convictions, sister.

Worse, at least at the moment, is that such generalizations reflect badly on all women. Because they are delivered by a representative of our sex who, though she probably means well, didn't bother to ask the rest of us before running off her mouth, I get to look like an idiot right along with her.

On the topic of generalizations, why does Rolling Stone even bother with album reviews? While browsing through a recent issue, I noticed an alarming trend in the rating system: out of twenty-eight reviews, sixteen rated three stars. Roughly proportional to each other were the two and three-and-a-half stars albums, with six and four total albums, respectively.

The only two albums to receive higher ratings were the Judas Priest Metalology box set, with four stars, and the reissue of Bob Dylan's Nashville Skyline, with five. Not that both albums don't deserve the kudos, but I sincerely doubt that anyone with half a brain or a reasonable interest in music couldn't have written those reviews. It doesn't take much thought or journalistic ambition to write a glowing review of a Dylan album, fellas. Way to go out on a limb.

Even worse, someone actually wrote in to defend the new Blondie album: "With 'Shakedown,' Blondie take rap in a new direction, just as they did in 1981 with 'Rapture'—the first rap song to hit Number One."

Blondie also have not been musically relevant, on the charts or otherwise, since 1981. Who the hell are these people, and where do they come from?

Posted in Quoi? | 10 June 2004 at 02:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (3) | Link

May 27, 2004

Someday's Child

Things that are already bumming me out about The Day After Tomorrow:

01. It contains neither zombies nor pirates.

02. My mom saw an ad for the movie and thinks it looks "cool."

03. Jake Gyllenhaal is in it. Whither hast thou gone, dramatic credibility?

04. People continually refer to the events in the movie as though it is a literal depiction of the results of global warming. Apparently everyone is illiterate, as even hardcore climate scientists see global warming progressing, at most, a single degree per year. While yes, this does mean the world is heating up, one degree is not going to melt the zillion tons of ice that make up the polar ice caps overnight. I'm all about having a front row seat when New York is washed out in a tsunami or when California falls into the ocean, but I sincerely doubt than any CGI orgy Hollywood releases is going to come close to what will happen when the world enters another ice age—which, might I add, is going to happen after we are all long dead. Barring, of course, a large asteroid colliding with the planet.

05. Roland Emmerich is the bastard love-child of Michael "Boom Boom" Bay and Jerry "Vrooooom!" Bruckheimer.

Posted in Quoi? | 27 May 2004 at 02:43 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (31) | Link

May 20, 2004

The Mighty McDonald

Oh, the majesty that is Shooter McGavin.

Maybe Christopher McDonald likes his unusual fame niche. Maybe he doesn't want more recognition. Selfishly, though, I'd like to see more of him: As he gets older, maybe the brainless studio whores over there in Satan-land will realize he's a national treasure -- a fiendishly brilliant comic actor on a par with Peter Sellars, Alec Guinness, John Gielgud ... all he needs is MATERIAL, YOU SHORTSIGHTED, CRETINOUS GREEDBAGS. For the love of Christ, somebody, please, PLEASE give that beautiful bastard a DECENT SCRIPT!

Speaking of sleaziness, indie-band-of-the-moment Franz Ferdinand is scoring one of the sex scenes in Michael Winterbottom's upcoming sex-fest Nine Songs. In interesting trivia about the film, none of the sex in the film is simulated and, if released, it will be the most explicit film ever to hit British theatres. Among the other bands performing (music, you perv) in the film are the Super Furry Animals, Black Rebel Motorcyle Club and the Dandy Warhols. The Dandies are the only band that would seem, to the best of my knowledge, to fit with the content in a stylistic manner. But then again, what do I know about filming hardcore porn?

Posted in Quoi? | 20 May 2004 at 11:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (41) | Link

May 18, 2004

The Dead Hate the Living

Everyone's favorite faux-DJ asshole (Moby) is producing an upcoming biopic about the life and death of Ian Curtis.

I think this is a monumentally bad idea, not least of all because Moby is a hack and he plans on "shaping the film's musical elements". Here's hoping the decomposed corpse of Ian Curtis rises from the grave to stalk and terrorize His Baldness in retribution for his musical—and soon to be visual—crimes.

Posted in Quoi? | 18 May 2004 at 10:04 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (32) | Link

May 14, 2004

We Will Walk You

Imagine a world where a glass of water is anthropomorphic. It takes on the shape of a boyish figure that vaguely resembles a blue Kokopelli, strutting purposefully through sponges and jails, sliding (frozen) down Christmas trees and putting out fires, having little water babies with a female water creature that looks disturbingly like the creature from Predator—all set to the melodious sounds of a child singing Queen's "We Will Rock You."

A bad acid trip, you're probably thinking. But you're wrong! Instead, it's a new ad for Evian.

Walking children made of water are definitely strange, but for this there are no words. Color me baffled.

Posted in Quoi? | 14 May 2004 at 02:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Link

May 04, 2004

The Other Statue

In case you needed more proof, organized religion rules. Finally, the convergence of sexually liberated American culture and strict Christian procreative sexuality have culminated in the ultimate setback for women's liberation: hymenoplasty. That's right girls; you can have your hymen surgically reattached so that you never have to own up to your own sexuality—your body can exist solely for the pleasure and possession of men. It erases everything but the asshole you actually lost your virginity to!

Posted in Quoi? | 4 May 2004 at 11:52 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (2) | Link

April 30, 2004

Only 81 Shopping Days Left

My birthday is in two-and-a-half months. If anyone out there has $750 lying around that they would like to spend on me (attention kindly millionaires or estranged relatives trying to make nice), this is what I want for my birthday.

*sigh*

Posted in Quoi? | 30 April 2004 at 06:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (101) | Link

Back at the Hotel with Scrabble and an Orange

A rather lengthy (yet entertaining) excerpt from Marc Simpson's book, Saint Morrissey, on sex and the pop star who made "is he or isn't he?" a way of life.

Is there any sex in Morrissey?
"None whatsoever. Which in itself is quite sexy." Hah! Cheeky bastard!

Speaking of being trapped by sexuality, look out 2005! Under construction now in Wilton Manors, FL is Wilton Station, the first gated community—"upscale village"—marketed specifically to gays. As though building gated ghettos, destroying urban centers and further stratifying the population wasn't bad enough, now the housing industry is working it's way into marketing through identity politics. The complex will offer a martini bar, dry cleaning, lap pool, spas, waterfalls and a "Tiki Hut" on site for everyone out there willing to accept the rampant gay stereotypes and buy a home to support them!

"These people care greatly about their bodies," says the project's architect Vernon Pierce, a straight man who grew up with a gay sister. "The health club was viewed as extremely important, so we designed a facility that will be second to none."

"Another key area of concern was entertaining," says Pierce. "So we upgraded the kitchens' size, and made sure they're open to the rest of the unit." The gay contingent, he says, responded to the prospect of cooking while hobnobbing with guests. Pierce also expanded the terraces in many units to a whopping 7 feet by 19 feet.

"Because the gay community is gregarious," says Pierce, "we thought: Why not create a bunch of public spaces? We changed the design of certain units to incorporate a 9-foot-square front porch." Their research indicated that gays would actually furnish and use these porches.

All in all, the gay customer remained mostly true to stereotype. "They do demand a higher level of design," Pierce says. "So we put in a lot more detail. Nicer columns, nicer paving patterns." The result, judging from renderings, is a handsome development, not overly original, but "upscale" in that sun-drenched Florida way.

I care about my body, love to cook and entertain, pine for a yard but would settle for a balcony or better yet, a porch; I feel I'm very gregarious and am a veritable fascist about design quality. Thus, according to the builders' criteria, I am obviously one of "these people"—er, gay.

On an architectural note, I'd like to point out that I'm not very impressed with the overall design of the place. It's fussy and overly contrived. Further, the floorplans need some help. Who wants the laundry room and water heater right outside the master suite? Further, why is the study inside the master, and why is the walk-in closet inside the study inside the master? And what's with the big, L-shaped empty space between the master bath and private terrace?

Google goes public with a double-tiered stockholder structure and a fuck-you letter to Wall Street.

The Dandy Warhols have released a two-CD set of previously unreleased material, The Black Album/Come On Feel The Dandy Warhols, presently available only from the band's website. (And the most unattractive picture of the usually uber-sexy Courtney Taylor-Taylor that I've seen.)

Random piece in Chart Attack about the band that yours truly and company released an album for, once upon a long time ago.

Lead singer Alex Kapranos of Franz Ferdinand gave a lecture about the merits of file sharing at Edinburgh University:

Alex had earlier told BBC news: "To be honest I'm all for song swapping online. Downloading music from the Internet is something I do myself and something that I'd be keen to encourage.

"From my experience it isn't necessarily the musicians themselves that are against it, but those companies involved in the music industry. The way the music industry is trying to regulate online sites at the minute is very heavy-handed - fining kids for downloading songs is just crazy." An excellent point sir, and well taken.

Posted in Quoi? | 30 April 2004 at 11:03 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (1) | Link

April 29, 2004

The Festival of St. Malingerer

I don't know how many of you actually visit the interesting and/or amusing links I so carefully insert under the Detours menu to the right, but if you haven't visited 5ives.com yet you damn well should.

For an example of the brilliant wit therein, please see the following:

Five excuses to get you out of work today

1. You ate almost a quart of bad paella and have violent squirts
2. You accidentally fell on a set of bicycle handlebars in the shower and will need a day to get them dislodged
3. New Roman Catholic holiday: “The Festival of St. Malingerer”
4. Your beloved burro, Henrietta, has died from the cancer
5. You’re drunk on Jesus and don’t care who knows it

Posted in Quoi? | 29 April 2004 at 02:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (36) | Link

April 19, 2004

Fireworks

The new New York Dolls sans Johnny Thunders...with Chrissie Hynde?

In serious news, I'd like to point out a little blurb from the wire. For those of you who are unaware or have not been following the conflicts between Israel and Palestine, Israel assassinated the leader of Hamas, Sheik Ahmed Yassin, a few weeks ago. After his death, Hamas members elected a more conservative (read: angry and violent) leader, Abdel Aziz Rantisi, who was assassinated by Israel over the weekend. I'm not trying to say that either Israel or Palestine are right or wrong in this situation. I think both are pretty squarely wrong for one reason or another, but killing people with targeted missle attacks is only accomplishing one thing: it's pissing people off, and pissing them off at us.

However, many Palestinians held the United States responsible for Rantisi's death, saying it is giving Israel free rein.

"The Palestinian government considers this Israeli terrorist campaign to be a direct result of American encouragement and the total American bias in favor of the Israeli government," said Palestinian Prime Minister Ahmed Qureia, echoing a widely held sentiment in the West Bank and Gaza.

Palestinian officials are furious with President Bush for sidelining them, endorsing Sharon's unilateral plan and backing Israel's demand to hang on to parts of the West Bank.

Does this seem like a very bad situation to anyone else?

Posted in Quoi? | 19 April 2004 at 11:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (31) | Link

April 15, 2004

What I Like About You

I'm a sucker for quizzes. Online or off-life, quirky or serious; if it's a quiz, I'll probably take it. My particular weakness is for personality quizzes, and today is no exception. I took an adapted version of the Myers-Briggs personality test (taken from Jungian psychoanalysis) and found out that I am an INFP personality—the Idealist.

While reading the synopsis, I blushed and stuttered a few times because it pretty accurately sums me up. Below are some highlights of the test:

One real problem area for the INFP is their intense dislike of conflict and criticism. The INFP is quick to find a personal angle in any critical comment, whether or not anything personal was intended. They will tend to take any sort of criticism as a personal attack on their character, and will usually become irrational and emotional in such situations. This can be a real problem for INFPs who are involved with persons who have Thinking and Judging preferences...If the opinion is negative, the TJ's attitude may be threatening to the INFP, who will tend to respond emotionally to the negativity and be vaguely but emphatically convinced that the negativity is somehow the INFP's fault.

INFPs are very aware of their own space, and the space of others. They value their personal space, and the freedom to do their own thing. They will cherish the mate who sees the INFP for who they are, and respects their unique style and perspectives. The INFP is not likely to be overly jealous or possessive, and is likely to respect their mate's privacy and independence. In fact, the INFP is likely to not only respect their mate's perspectives and goals, but to support them with loyal firmness.

(Full version available here.)

Posted in Quoi? | 15 April 2004 at 04:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (2) | Link

April 13, 2004

The Wretched Life of a Lonely Heart

Congratulations! You are a GRAMMAR GOD!
If your mission in life is not already to preserve the English tongue, it should be.

How grammatically sound are you?

Posted in Quoi? | 13 April 2004 at 10:03 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (3) | Link

April 02, 2004

I'm Not Getting Paid Enough

Human For Sale says I am worth exactly $1,976,942.00. That's a far cry from my current hourly wage.

Posted in Quoi? | 2 April 2004 at 04:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Link

March 31, 2004

Word Baby!

resistentialism (ri-zis-TEN-shul-iz-um) n.
The theory that inanimate objects demonstrate hostile behavior toward us.

Coined by humorist Paul Jennings as a blend of the Latin res (thing) + French resister (to resist) + existentialism (a branch of philosophy).

Ummmm, yeah. About those TPS reports...

(Definition courtesy of George.)

Posted in Quoi? | 31 March 2004 at 05:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (1) | Link

March 30, 2004

Minions of Satan, Band Together!

So much for sugar and spice. *muahahahaha*

Posted in Quoi? | 30 March 2004 at 06:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (3) | Link

March 24, 2004

The Eternal Question

Q: How do you get a philosopher off of your porch?

A: Pay for the pizza.

Posted in Quoi? | 24 March 2004 at 05:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (79) | Link

March 23, 2004

I Shall Make Bloody Music With Your Nation's Populace!

What Is Your Battle Cry?

Prowling on the tarmac, wielding a reflective halberd, cometh Marleigh! And she gives a low scream: "I'm going to contort you so hard, it will be a new form of crime!"

Find out! Enter username: Are you a girl, or a guy ?

created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Posted in Quoi? | 23 March 2004 at 04:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (32) | Link

March 22, 2004

Yowza!

For anyone out there who thought that the scene in Return of the King where all the Hobbits were reunited (as Gandalf looked on and smiled knowingly) was just a wee bit homoerotic, you can indulge all your suspicions here.

And if that still isn't enough, you could always look for proof that Elijah Wood is Very, Very Gay. (Link courtesy of Scott.)

Posted in Quoi? | 22 March 2004 at 04:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (4) | Link

March 03, 2004

It's the End of Your Life

Some of your friends could already be this twisted: How Blogs Are Ruining My Life.

Posted in Quoi? | 3 March 2004 at 03:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0) | Link

February 24, 2004

She Thinks She's Babe, Pig in the City

Accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour and win a free PS2!

Speaking of Jesus, The Passion of the Christ has already exceeded first day sales records of The Lord of the Rings in some places. If only we were all as popular as Jesus, no one would ever need to make friends again!

If this movie does as well as it is supposed to we could be in trouble. Not that I mind movies about Jesus, but if there is one thing Hollywood knows how to do it's knock off successful story ideas...and I feel a rash of Jesus biopics in the making. That is not necessarily the kind of climate that works best for those of us trying to oust Dubya and his ferociously conservative (read: "religious") friends.

Posted in Quoi? | 24 February 2004 at 06:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (29) | Link

February 12, 2004

Blaine?! His Name is Blaine?!

I was never much on Barbie myself, and I probably can't even list all the horrible things I used to put my Barbie dolls through without drawing some censure, but the amount of press that Barbie and Ken's breakup has drawn is fascinating. If I got this much attention when I broke up with someone I could throw myself pity parties for years.

Following this major news event, however, I have two questions:

01. Why do we care about the demise of a relationship between two plastic dolls? I can (if I squint) see why people care about the breakup of Ben & Jen, but other than some sweet nostalgic pulls for days spent dressing Barbie in her wedding gear and marrying her off to Ken, what's the big fucking deal?

02. Sure, Ken was always a bit too country club for me, but why are Ken and Barbie—which are, admittedly, misleading representations of real life—being replaced with the deeply tanned and terribly disturbing Cali Girl Barbie and her studly boogie-boarding boyfriend, Blaine?

Yes, you read that right: his name is Blaine.

Posted in Quoi? | 12 February 2004 at 12:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (10) | Link

February 05, 2004

I'm Just Being Honest

You can be sure that a song has saturated the culture when someone finds a way to sync it with the dance sequence from A Charlie Brown Christmas. There's nothing like the Peanuts gang doing hardcore punches and windmills to Outkast to inspire a fit of giggles. At least for me.

Posted in Quoi? | 5 February 2004 at 04:45 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (97) | Link

December 30, 2003

Jesus Is, Like, SOOO Dreamy!

In further proof of the lows that we as people are sinking, in order to make Christianity interesting to a new generation of followers the world's largest publisher of Christian literature has now put out a version of the New Testament aimed at one of the most popular marketing groups around: teenage girls. Revolve isn't just any teen Bible, but a Bible made to look like Seventeen magazine.

In focus groups, online polling, and one-on-one discussion, Transit has found that the number one reason teens don't read the Bible is that it is "too big and freaky looking." This fashion-magazine format for the New Testament is the perfect solution to that problem. Teen girls feel comfortable exploring the Scriptures and over 500 further-study notes because of the relevant format!

I have no particular problem with trying to make Christ interesting to younger audiences but this is symptomatic of so many things that are misaligned in the world at large. When we have to resort to Christ giving beauty tips in order to make him appealing, either something has gone terribly wrong with Christianity or something has gone terribly wrong with people in general—or, as I suspect, there is something very terribly wrong with both. Somewhere along the line, Mandy/Britney/Christina/Hillary/Mary-Kate-and-Ashley became more important than the figure who has dominated and dictated world history for the past 2,000 years.

Does that freak anyone else out?

Posted in Quoi? | 30 December 2003 at 05:58 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (5) | Link

December 19, 2003

Plumage

It's natural enough in our species, as in others, that the young birds should show off their plumage—in the mating season. But the trouble in the modern world is that there's a tendency to rush all the birds on to that age as soon as possible and keep them there as late as possible, thus losing all the real value of the other parts of life in a senseless, pitiful attempt to prolong what, after all, is neither its wisest, its happiest, or most innocent period. I suspect merely commercial motives are behind it all: for it is at the showing-off age that birds of both sexes have least sales-resistance! — C.S. Lewis

Posted in Quoi? | 19 December 2003 at 03:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (56) | Link

November 25, 2003

Mmm Mmm Good

Posted in Quoi? | 25 November 2003 at 02:42 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (186) | Link